Going to bed

Children often do not want to go to sleep. Going to sleep means missing out on things. Many children are still afraid of the separation at night, especially those under three.

• Children generally find comfort and security in rituals (special things you do at bedtime). They help children prepare for the idea of going to bed.
  • A typical ritual may include a relaxed bath, a drink, cuddle, story, kiss and ‘goodnight’.
  • Work out your ritual around what is special for your child.
  • The half hour before bed is not a good time for tickles, wrestles, quarrels, TV or other excitement. It helps to have a ‘wind down’ time and dim the lights to help prepare for sleep.
• Let children know in advance that bedtime is coming, eg. “just one more game and then it’s time to get ready for bed” – and mean what you say. This can prevent the pestering for more time to stay up.
• Explain to children that everything that they want has to be done before bed. Calls for drinks, trips to the toilet, etc. Tell your child that you love her and will be nearby.
• Some children can relax more easily with a night light, soft music or a story tape playing.
• Many toddlers like to take a special toy to bed or have their dummy
• Some also need the door open so that they know that you are near. If your child is anxious, let her know that you will pop in during the night to check how she is.
• The inner confidence to feel secure when parents are not present is still developing by three to four years of age. If night waking is being caused by separation anxiety, it usually improves after four years of age.
• At times when children are sick, lonely, sad or frightened they may need help to go back to sleep.
• The changes in your child’s life, eg. moving house, separations, family tensions or staring preschool, can be a factor.